In my previous post i talked about signs to know a guy isnt into you, now am going to talk on how to get over him.
Part two: 5 Steps To Get Over him.
(1) Resist the urge to dismiss him as a “jerk,” etc. Labeling the guy as someone bad or evil because he does not return your level of affection or devotion does you absolutely no service. Yes, it might be true. He might have used and abused you, led you on, taken advantage of you, etc., and he very well may be a douchebag, but: (a) chances are HE WAS A DOUCHEBAG WHEN YOU MET HIM; and (b) for your own betterment and development, what/who he is does not really matter. When you focus on what he is or who he is or what he did or didn’t do to you, all that does is distract your thinking and place the focus on what is fundamentally wrong with him instead of analyzing yourself and how you got yourself entangled with this person. All that matters now is how to end a self-destructive pattern of choosing men who are unavailable to you. For ONCE, it is ALL ABOUT YOU. And he just gets to be the vehicle that drove you to the point of self-discovery.
(2) Realize you cannot change him.
Women sometimes get caught up in the fallacy that if a man would just change, then you both could be happy together. Or, even worse, if he could just see how much you love and adore him, then surely he would return the feelings and you could be happy together. And—rock bottom—if you invest your time and energy into him and making him better, then he will appreciate you and never leave you and of course, you could be happy together. Not. Gonna. Happen. All the hoping, praying, begging, pleading, loving, adoring, investing and energizing in the worldcannot and will not change anybody into the person you want him to be. (It just ought to leave you physically and emotionally drained, though). When he shows you and tells you exactly who he is, BELIEVE HIM. And then, realize that him not being into you is HIS problem, and not a fatal flaw within you. But you love him best, you’ll treat him right, he cares more about people who don’t care about him and he’s going to keep on getting hurt….HIS problems, hunny. As my favorite law school professor says, “Other people’s problems are other people’s problems. Don’t make them your own.”
Instead of wasting your time trying to change him, focus EVERY DROP OF YOUR ENERGY on trying to change what attracted you to someone who is not into you. A perfect segue into step 3.
(3) Drop the Desire to Want to Change Him.
As I have already stated in step (1), he is who he is. If you have a burning desire to try to change him or make him better, please acknowledge the fact that YOU DON’T REALLY WANT HIM! You are not o.k. with what he is giving you, and that simple fact should be much more important to you than whatever great qualities you think he possesses. When faced with a situation where the guy is just not that into you, your response should be to focus on what YOU really want. You want a guy who: (1) finds you fascinating; (2) respects you and listens to you and REMEMBERS you; (3) calls you/contacts you/finds some way to communicate with you come hell or high water; (4) finds you beautiful and irresistible; (5) thinks you’re special; (6) IS INTO YOU!!
So, no matter how great you think this guy is that you’re into, and no matter how badly youwish he would do those things, if he’s not showing you those 6 things, you really don’t want him after all. Now, you may be reluctant to let go because you believe in his potential and know that he could do all of those things in the future. And, he most likely will—for a person he’s IN to! If that person is not you, the way to move on is to focus on what you want, instead of who you want. Then you will realize that you’re just not that into him, either!
(4) Acknowledge that you deserve more.
In order to break a potential or actual cycle of choosing guys who are not into you, you must understand that you DESERVE someone who is into you. You DESERVE someone who is respectful, and loving, and kind to, and thoughtful of YOU. You are special and you DESERVE someone who understands that you are special. No matter what you’ve done in your past, no matter how bad your life has been, no matter the mistakes you’ve made or wrongs you have suffered, you are NOT damaged goods, you are NOT worthless, and you are most certainly NOT unlovable! And you are special simply because God said so! And that’s all there is to it. Once you can wrap your mind around that, making a list of the qualities you want in a man will be simple. The 6 qualities mentioned above are a very good start. Add more to your list and make it your own, skipping such things as money/status/employment/looks. First, focus solely on how it is you want to be treated, and NEVER settle for less than that, again!
(5) DO NOT GET AMNESIA! Ladies, the day may come when he realizes what a blind, blind, fool he’s been and wants to give it an honest go with you. Or perhaps a new man has wandered into your life that you find yourself attracted to. In either scenario, it is CRUCIAL that you write step (4) on your heart so that you will recall how you deserve to be treated. If you can’t recall how you deserve to be treated, at least dig back deep into that hole you were left in when you were treated badly. Remember how you allowed that person to make you feel insignificant, unwanted, undesirable, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not good enough. Remember how that felt and RUN THE OTHER WAY! (And remember how you were treated and don’t treat any guy that way, either).
It is easy and comfortable to fall back into old habits, even bad ones. Conversely, it is difficult to change your own thinking about yourself, to wake up every day and tell yourself I deserve good things and actually treat yourself like you really believe that. But, it does get easier with time. Sometimes you might slip back into that poisonous comfort, but as long as you spit it back out and get back up again, you can and you will break this cycle.
Like I stated earlier its your relationship you know better, so please do your findings. What I stared are just guidelines to help you through.
Hope you guys enjoyed today's gist, would really love to hear from you guys.
Enjoy your night while I wait.....lol
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